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:iconsasunaru16: More from sasunaru16


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Literature by Copperfrost

Poetry by Argentum-Lupae-Luna

Words by isahrishs


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Submitted on
October 6, 2012
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They say it's difficult to love someone
When you can't even love yourself.
But I loved you nonetheless,
The problem was I didn't know when to stop.

You kept sending me mixed signs
Making me dizzy until I
Couldn't know
Left <--- from ---> right
Much less right
From wrong.

When our world started crumbling down and
T e a r i n g  at the seams
It was so easy for you to let it fall apart.
But I, knowing no other kind of love,
desperately clung to the remaining bits,
Trying to put them back together.

Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,
They kept growing and
growing  a p a r t,
until your world was only yours
and mine a hollow echo of its past.

Looking back now, it seems like it
All happened in a different life,
With some other you, some other me,
And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
old poem :) please tell me what you think! any feedback is appreciated! ^^ :love:
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:iconcholie:
cholie Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013
good golly, your writing is so amazing!
it's so real, so emotive, so beautiful.
Reply
:iconalways-a-day-dreamer:
Always-A-Day-Dreamer Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love this so much! It says a lot in so little words! I wish I had the talent to do that!
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Of course you do, all it takes is a little practice ^^
Reply
:iconniclo121212:
niclo121212 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm DYING! :dead:
A beutiful poem.
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Noooo!!!!!!!!! *gives you CPR* :D Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconniclo121212:
niclo121212 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconslug22:
Slug22 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012
Very good :)
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icongeralsv:
geralsv Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it's something we can all relate to at some point of our lives.
Very simple yet touching.
:thumbsup:
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart: I am sorry to hear you can relate to this, heartache is the worst kind of pain ... :)
Reply
:icongeralsv:
geralsv Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Indeed, it is.. but I think we should actually be glad we are able to feel something and that we're not just a whole bunch of heartless robots, haha. Besides, there can be no happiness, without some sadness.

And you're welcome dear! :aww:
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, definitely, although when you do feel heartache you can't help but wish you couldn't feel at all :) But surely, when wounds heal with time you are able to appreciate the moments of happiness and the lessons you've learned from the whole experience :)
without suffering we would not strive to change our situation and would therefore never make any progress in our lives but instead stay the same, which is not living at all :)
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:icongeralsv:
geralsv Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I totally agree. :aww:
Reply
:icontcempk:
tcempk Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
Ej ti si nardila en inception in to pobrala z moje glave ;) hec, en velk fav! :D
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
haha sure :D tnx :)
Reply
:icontcempk:
tcempk Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
waka waka!:)
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
*scarred for life by shakira in bugatti* :D
Reply
:icontcempk:
tcempk Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012
Sej v bistvu sm meu tov mislih ;) [link]
čene je tud mene šu un komad n pizdo :P
Reply
:iconarvenaperedhel:
ArvenaPeredhel Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Um... WOW.

A very powerful and evocative piece, with imagery that almost paints itself into a picture inside your head. I especially like how you used spacing and characters to make your points.
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
wow, thank you so much for such a lovely comment! :D yeah I quite often like playing with random characters and spacings in my poems :D
Reply
:iconarvenaperedhel:
ArvenaPeredhel Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I appreciate it. Your writing engages on a visual as well as a mental level.
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :D
Reply
:iconikestrel:
iKestrel Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist
:jawdrop: Wow! Thats really good! =D
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :D
Reply
:iconikestrel:
iKestrel Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Hobbyist
=D
Reply
:iconazza-magena:
Azza-Magena Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
i love the simplicity! it's heart felt too, so it's a double winner for me! =)
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! :love:
Reply
:iconlimarieinred:
limarieinred Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It expresses your thoughts quite clearly! I think it is very good!
Reply
:iconsasunaru16:
sasunaru16 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
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