A letter to past loves.Dear Boy number 1,you turned my world upside down,changed green into red and smiles to tears.Who would've thought thatyour teasing and your games wouldplant a fear into my bones, so strong thatI still cannot shake it?Dear Boy number 2,I don't think about you anymorebut I don't think about you any less, either.Your love consumed me andpushed me to the edge of insanity.We were fire one second, ice the next,battle wounds were inflicted just to get a taste of blood.We were right in all the wrong ways, but to you,holding another was second nature.Dear Boy number 3,you only ever touched mein the dark alleys of town,out of sight, but you were neverout of my mind.Your kisses were new and sloppy,and your hands left bruiseson my chilled skin.My friends said you were bad for me, butI fell in love with your eyes of coal.Dear Boy number 4,you are just great. And that's the thing.You are everything I could wish for, butI want someone to
Letter To Alice In Wonderland
Letter To Alice In WonderlandHey, I think I have some explaining to do,I know it's been a long time - hell, it's been years -since the last time you wanted to look upon my face,before it changed and became so cruel.Hey, maybe you don't know yet, butfor all the good it did me, I really did love you,and not for a second doubt that none was true,for proof, go count my every cut.And that's the reason I had to get out,you were bad for me, driving me blind,as I was fighting two addictions entwined,that's the main reason, it's the main shout.When he came around, I saw a ray of sunlight,but you always made me ooze with gloom,I longed for his touches, to escape my doom,it's not your fault, it was love at first sight.He was unreachable, you no longer my muse,he a shiny new toy, when I knew just how you tick,and I started building up my walls, brick by icy brick,shutting you out, lighting a new love fuse.Don't misunderstand, you did nothing wrong,it was the wrong place, wron
Distant Memories Of A Love Done Gone .They say it's difficult to love someoneWhen you can't even love yourself.But I loved you nonetheless,The problem was I didn't know when to stop.You kept sending me mixed signsMaking me dizzy until ICouldn't knowLeft rightMuch less rightFrom wrong.When our world started crumbling down andT e a r i n g at the seamsIt was so easy for you to let it fall apart.But I, knowing no other kind of love,desperately clung to the remaining bits,Trying to put them back together.Yet the pieces changed too much, too quickly,They kept growing andgrowing a p a r t,until your world was only yoursand mine a hollow echo of its past.Looking back now, it seems like itAll happened in a different life,With some other you, some other me,And the lips kissing my own were just a dream.
She always fell for boys who needed saving.She always fell for boys who needed saving.Giving them kisses in the darkto numb their headache fromdrinking too much and yetnot enough to kill lust.She was always adored by boys, who,if given the chance, would rebuildthe world for her.But she wanted to be the heroineand refused to seeshe needed saving, too.
ice queenShe takes you by the hipsbecause she's too hungryto appreciate the warmthof your hands.She transforms you with her fingers,bending every edge till you're just herball, made of glass,that she shakes once in a while.She always preferred ice over sunshine.And I can't stand the sight of her,she chills me to the bone.Because she has my whole worldin the palm of her handand I fear she might break it.
Heartbreaker at first sight .I wonder ifthe first timeour eyes met after wekissed,did this thought cross your mind -'So, this is the girl whose heartI'm going to break one day.'?
0.01%commitment is a dirty wordthat they carved into our mindsto make us feel like we'renot good enough.here's a bar of soap to make youclean that dirty, dirty mouth.better yet, have anotherfor your brain.let the bubbles overflow your bloodstream,give you a certain high so you're detached.wash his name out of your thoughts,repeat, repeat, repeat.Careful now, don't want you spilling bloodfor someone who has only ever taught youthat finding happiness in someone elseis the most suicidal thing you could ever do.[ but they say that no matter how much you clean,0.01% of bacteria always remain.you've given me a cold and my nose is so runnyI'm close to blowing my brains out. ]
Turning Into Fiction.Every drop of doubt that fallsLeaves an echo of ripples in your reflection.I want to gouge my fingers into this uncertaintyAnd read you like a book, butThe chapters of your dark side make me reconsider.Each page reveals a potential twist and turn,And danger, so much danger for such a fragile heart.What if on the last page I realize the story is just fiction?You areUncontrollable, your thirst isUnquenchable and who am I toShut your eyes from your own lust?My hold is loose when fate andLack of faith are gnawing at your covers.What I fear most is not you waking up to somebody else,But you waking up as somebody else entirely.
I play with Words like you play with Hearts .you are a brittle little thing butyour bite makes me restl-ess--ays could be written about youreyes, shimmering in the star-light--headed is what you make me--ddling into my heartst[r]ings until I amin need of med-icine--ss melting away at your heated t-ouch!and yes, I want you inside meand all around meand never leaving my si[ght]de--votion and affection surging th--rough our beings playing, moving aso[verlapping]n[estled]e[ntity].you're a slippery ro-ad--diction hard to sha--ke-en-edged and dange-rous--ing my heart to bea-ting--ling in my skin--ned knees when f a
HauntedI hear this haunted voice; it whispers liesIt keeps me up at night; it plays my fearsAllowing no sleep for these tired eyesTelling me things that I don't want to hearAm I really heartless or am I numb?Is this simply darkness of am I blind?Try to claw my way back into the sunLeave a bloody trail for others to findFollowing the sound of a lonely heartBrought only false hope that I might be freedI was led astray in the howling darkThe one way out is through the blood I bleedI've given up hope of living in peaceI only wish now that my heart would cease
Wonder.Do you fear your own death?Is it hard to conceive?Draw in your last breath, then-Your last breath will leave.Isn't it strange to think,That there's a timer above your head?A countdown you can't see,That finishes when you're dead.Don't you ever wonder,What it'll be like when you're gone?I bet the world will keep on spinning.There will be another dawn.But the harsh reality behind it-We're all going to die.There's no reason to try to fight itNot even to question why.It makes me wish that I could have a little more to give,Because I'm not afraid of how I'll die...I'm afraid of how I'llLive...
fly.this is hard for the world around us to grasp:these wildfires raging in our retinas& the sins we wear like demonic simileson our tongues- they are not enough.& i am so fucking sorry of saying i'm sorry.but, tell me,what is a young poet(ess) to dowith veins made of kite strings?
MessEverywhere I goEvery single placeThe troubles seem to growEvery smiling faceEventually frowns with woeWhy can't I doAnything rightI just screwUp everything despiteThe happiness I try to spewIs it meAm I the source of this acheDoes the pain flow freeIs this what I makePeople be?Should I go away and hideNever to see othersOr the outsideBut would I stop another'sPain and be the only one that ever criedWhat is a life with no greyWhen everyone is sadI'd give it all awayIt wouldn't be that badI would finally be able to sayI saved a life
Just One MoreJust One moreJust a cut.Just a scratch."What's that mark.?""It was the cat."Just an excuse.Just another lie."What's with all the bracelets.?""Just fashion, why.?"Just a tear.Just a scream."Why were you crying.?""Just a bad dream."-But it's not just a cut, or a tear, or a lie. It's always 'just one more' until you die
This Ugly, Beautiful WorldI took a school trip to Europe this summer.To be honest, I don't remember much of it anymore. It's all a blur of rushing through crowded streets and cramped bus rides and crowds of foreign languages. When I look at the pictures, in fact, I can't seem to recall taking most of them. I can't even tell what some of them are supposed to be.Our first stop was Paris, France.I hated it there. It was dirty. Smelly. Crowded. Disgusting. Wherever we found ourselves, disdain was the only courtesy that was shown to us by those who called the City of Light their home. It didn't even matter that I loved each inch of history that was told to us by our guide - I just wanted to go home and get away from the squirming, teeming atmosphere that clung to me like fog on a rainy day.We spent three days in Paris.The first day is nothing but a fractured, bone-weary mess in my mind that consists of walking and walking and eating and walking and listening and walking and walking. The second day is simply bit
You do not whore around,You spend your nightsreachingfor Apollo’s robes.You’re as hotas New Orleansin mid-July, andas fierceas her gumbo.But, he is light-yearsaway and your fingersache with tiredinsecurity.-a disaster inyour ownmoon skin.Even if it fucking hurts,you can still tastehis heat on your tongue.Gods be damned,you’re a butterfly-( even if mountedto a bed. )One day,you will find yourselfand fly away.
Please, don't give up.You’re not alone, even if you feel such sorrowPlease try to calm your mind and forget about tomorrowI know that life can hurt, but from my happiness you can borrowPlease don't cry anymore, I will help you with the troublesome morrow Even if the bad seem to be everywhere you goJust keep in mind that you have to stay away from what’s belowAnd I know that you’ll learn from these bad experiencesSo then you can help those who are inexperiencedPlease don’t be sad, everyone has a reason for his or her existenceYou can’t ever give up, push through and have resistanceThe worst thing you could do is to lose all of your hopeJust promise me that you will try to never mope
i miss you...I sit here in this rain, Waiting,Thinking of you.But no matter how long I wait on this bench, For you,You will never meet me here. I’ve got on my best dress, my cane,Even that old bowler hat you always liked,And I wait at the bench where we first met.But you will never meet me here again.I lean on my cane in front of me,Thinking of you,
the world is only gonna break your heart.You allowed me a glance inside of you, opened your ever-shut mouth so I could leaninto it and look down. It was ugly. It was a total mess down there; it was all yellow withbitterness, and knotted with heartache. And I just wanted to climb down past your tonsils,down your larynx and into your chest to clean up the mess. I could untie you, or at leastI could try to. You know I don't like cleaning much but I'd scrub your walls and fix youup and let in a little sunlight. Still you closed your mouth and when you opened it again itwas all tongue and alcohol and hunger for mine.You never allow me inside, you never allow me past the front door, leaving me like alittle whore in the alley behind your house. We've been there before, sixteen times ormore, but none of this ever changes. I won't stop wanting you, and you won't stop runningaway, and I won't give up and you won't stop fucking me up or over or on my mother'scouch at 7am.Now it's 6am and we're in your best friend's apartment
MistakeIf only I had known thatThis is what we'd become.If I could go back,Change what I've done.You should know that I would.Just look at what I've done now.Everything is so broken.If only I just know how,Take back what I've spoken,I would if I could.But now it's too late,The damage is done.I took all the hate.I want to go back to one.Do I have to go awayJust because of one mistake?Why couldn't it stay?Was so much at stake?I'm tired of pretendingThere's no use of it now.Is this really the ending?Guess I regret it somehow.Don't we all stumble?Don't we all feel small?Don't we all have trouble feeling humble?Don't we all trip and fall?But I don't understandWhy this thing has to be.All that I know is the blame is on me. ~M.E.B.~
I'm sorryWhen you tore my heart outAnd threw it to the groundMirthful eyesThat laughed at meI reached outTo touch youTo apologizeAnd you shatteredI know why tooIt's because you wereAshamedAfraidEmbarrassedAnxiousAnd you thought thatIf you acceptedMy handThen everything would crashBut as it turns outYou were wrongBecause when I reached outAnd you rejected meYou brokeAll on your ownI pick upYour piecesWith remorseNow I'll have toBuy a new mirror
like firei called and calledbut, you didnt answer.whispered your name into the air hoping my voice would rise like heat and wrap its warm fingers around your poor aching body, but somehow it never got to you,and I couldn’t ever reach you anyway..but I still cared so much, that if caring were like fireit would have engulfed my heart and set me ablaze,and so much passion just made this impossible,because your short fuse and my burning emotions were as dangerous as fire and gasoline.I just wanted to help you. so badly to heal youand this crazed hope of helping you dragged me like a chain behind your path of corruption, sparks flying off the ground as I rattled across the pavementsparks that would always ignite because I was dying to fix you as much as you were dying to fix me,and you were trying to give me the love that I needed while I was trying to give you the support that you lacked,and it was all with good intentions but we soon found that the broken can’t fi
For those who need a friendFor those who need a friend..I am a warm hugi am a listening earFor those who need a friend..I am a Guardiani am a helping handFor those who need a friendI am a cure to nightmaresi am a light to darknessFor those who need a friendI welcome with open armsand ill save you from lonelinessBut still i need a friendI am nothing when im alonei am pain on a constant toneBut still i need a friendI am broken beyond repairI am angry and full of despairBut still i need a friendI am regret and i am guiltI am fearful but cant show itBut still i need a friendAnd as i watch others get my desireI feel jealous yet i still admire
it only lasts a little whileat the bottomthere islovelittle handsdissolving themselvesin the desperatesunlight & wavescut by shipsand continentsopensuspendedtrembling as the waterpasses throughhollow bodies restless& agilewaiting for the sun
Keeping secretsHave you ever cried yourself to sleep?And if someone asked you that,how would you answer?Truth be told, I used to -Just lie in bed and think,think about every single thingand how I felt about it...what it meant to me.But I'll just say no,because I don't want you to knowabout how weak I am.And it is when all is silent,the tears will slide slowly,soaking your pillow. Like a movie,the scene plays out in your headof all those times when you werebullied, hurt,damaged and broken.Replayed and replayed untilall the images end up blur and disjointed.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?Yes, I have - many times, in fact.But I'll just say nobecause you're my friendand if I were to tell you,it would be the end.
Between You and Me.I never believed you,I only wanted to......Lying back to backI was counting your breathsto make sure your lack ofheartdidn't leave youdead.....Like a ghostthe fading memories of your touchkept screamingwhat I was trying to forget....Oh, why did I give it up to you?..I know it's my fault.My expectations were greater thanwhat you were willing to offer,and I got scared.I tried shutting you out,to gather myself togetherbehind a shield of apathy,but only ended up inself-destruction..Your kiss never tasted asintoxicatingly bitteras the last timeI made love to you...